


sexliesandvideotapes

by Amphigorym



Category: due South
Genre: Drama, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-12-14
Updated: 2002-12-14
Packaged: 2018-11-10 21:06:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11134701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amphigorym/pseuds/Amphigorym
Summary: In which Ray discusses pornography and offers helpful hints on having sex in the shower.





	sexliesandvideotapes

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

  
sexliesandvideotapes

## sexliesandvideotapes

by MR

Author's website: http://unhinged.0catch.com

Disclaimer: Not mine, and remember, actors in porn videos are trained professionals. So don't try this sort've stuff at home.

Author's Notes: I had more fun writing this story and its follow-ups than any one person should be allowed to have.

Story Notes: 

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Sexliesandvideotapes  
By MR 

So the way I see it, pornography should be banned. Not because it's gonna corrupt the innocent and lead to society's downfall, but because a steady diet of the stuff gives people the wrong ideas as to what sex actually involves. They forget they're watching professional paid actors who do this kind've thing for a living. So when sex with someone in real life doesn't result in multiple screaming orgasms, they figure they must be doing something wrong. Which is bullshit. 

You ever had sex standing up? Cause people in skin flicks are forever having sex in weird positions and even weirder places and nobody ever pulls a groin muscle. Which is precisely what happened the first time Fraser and I tried to have sex standing up. 

Frase and I are almost the same height, but our bodies are built different. My legs are longer than his, but he's got more mass through his shoulders. So for us, the only way sex standing up works is if the one on the bottom does a 50-degree bend at the waist. Which leads to dizziness and way too much strain on their arms. Also pulled groin muscles, because for some reason my dick, which fits perfectly into Fraser when we're lying down, just can't seem to get with the program when we're vertical. I keep slipping out when I pull back, and between that and Fraser getting light-headed and damn near passing out, it isn't worth the trouble. 

Give me a soft bed and a hard Mountie any day of the week. Lying down (or on your knees, which ever you prefer) just works better. And it's a lot more comfortable too. 

Then there's the whole business of dick size. We guys tend to spend a lot of time obsessing about whether we measure up, and this is pornography's fault, because I've never seen a guy in a porno movie that was less than 10". I don't know whether they breed'em that way or just don't hire anyone who isn't that big. I've also seen guys with dicks that look less like sex organs and more like lethal weapons. I don't think I'd want someone with a 12" dick fucking me because I'm not sure there's enough room in there for it. 

For the record, Fraser and I are both 8". He just looks longer cause he's not cut. 

And gay porn...gay porn needs to straighten up and fly right. Cause a lot of the guys watching gay porn are young men who've never even kissed another man, never mind given him a blow job. Blowjobs are not something you're born knowing how to do; they require practice (trust me, the first blowjob I ever gave Fraser was a disaster with a capital D). Some guys don't like to do blowjobs, and they shouldn't be made to feel like they're cheating their partner if they don't. Fraser and I met a gay couple in Canada who've been together almost 40 years, and never had anal sex. They tried it early on, but neither of them really enjoyed it, so it's not a part of their sex lives. Does that make them not really gay, just cause they don't fuck? 

Sex should be something you do because you love someone, not because everyone in porn movies does it. I mean, how many guys in real life can get it up again right after coming? Okay, I could when I was younger, but I'm getting into my 40s now and my body's slowing down. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. Young guys have this tendency towards approaching sex like it's a timed Olympic event and they've only got 15 minutes to get it up and get it off. Maybe because when you're young, everything you do is intense. It isn't till you get in your 30s that you realize sex is an ongoing process. 

All this should fit into the framework of whatever relationship you've got going. Fraser and I have what amounts to a kissing fetish, acquired during our search for Franklin's Hand, because let's face it; it's just too damn cold up there to risk letting anything fragile get exposed. One of the best orgasms I ever had in my life was achieved flat on my back in a two-man tent, with two sleeping bags and God alone knows how many layers of clothes between us. Fraser can do things with his tongue that should be outlawed. 

I'm not sure how much actual sexual experience Ben had before we became a couple, but I don't think it was much, because it's like everything we do is new to him. On the other hand, he knows lots of technical words for sex acts. Without him around, I would've never known there's a phrase to describe getting yourself off by rubbing you dick against the crease where someone's leg joins their hip (intra-femoral intercourse). He's also very fond of using the word buggery to describe fucking, which I like cause it sounds dirty. 

Oh, one more thing. Having sex in the shower is sort've like having sex standing up. You can do it, but that's not to say someone's not likely to end up breaking their wrist. So if you absolutely have to have sex in the shower, go easy with the soap. 

Thank God the cast comes off next week. Cause it itches like a sonofabitch. 

**FIN**

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End sexliesandvideotapes by MR:

Author and story notes above.


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